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The human body.

Discussion in 'Get it off your chest' started by Trouserferret, Jun 10, 2014.

  1. Trouserferret

    Trouserferret Donator

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    It's let me down in various ways over the years. When I was a young 'un, I would bounce, things would heal, I didn't get hangovers.

    Things change with time.

    I have grey hairs, nasal hair, excess acid production, anterior knee pain and finally...

    AN INGROWN TOENAIL. I'm not being ageist, just never had one and I'm 32.

    Now this is affecting me in every step (literally) of my day to day life. I'm a chronic Doc-Avoider, 'specially when it comes to folk poking about my feet. They're minging things, you should be ashamed of them. Hence why I've resorted to hacking at mine with over the counter stuff. First came Germoline and Micropore, then TCP baths, then Magnesium Sulphate. Not to mention scalpel blades and biting of towels.

    The final straw came today when I tripped over a sticky-upy paving slab in the street; sending my swollen, throbbing toe crashing with great force into the very cap of my boot with much force and tumultuous swearing. I nearly vomited/passed out. The wee 'ol woman next to me had to help me up...

    Plus side is it took the pressure off it for a couple of hours when the purple plum atop my pedal digit burst like an overripe cherry under a hammer blow.

    The pain was almost worth it, but I'm considering looking for the 'ol needlenose and some whisky if this continues.

    Has anyone dealt with these at home with any good results? As you can guess, Google has a pretty mixed bunch of results.
     
  2. neiled

    neiled Donator

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    I was beginning to feel really sorry for you ..................until I read you we're only 32!!!! Bl**dy young wipper snapper :p
     
  3. surrey shooter

    surrey shooter Donator

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    I suffered alot from the age of 9 on both big toes, eventually I had an op to remove my nails completely.

    Go to your gp and get it sorted.

    Atb
    Ss.
     
  4. Trouserferret

    Trouserferret Donator

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    Cheers Neil, but I'm old beyond my years... :D

    And Surrey; How did you manage? I've got pure horror flicks flashing through my mind here. I'd rather pull my own toenails out than have someone do it to me.

    Reeally gives me the heebyjeebies thinking about it.
     
  5. igual88

    igual88 Donator

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    Had both big toes done 7 years ago as I was like you in a lot of pain best thing I did.
    It took about 20 mins to do both big toes and a few days taking it easy at home.
    I will admit nowt grosses me out re bodies/injuries etc when I was 15 had a real nasty
    Accident and spent 18 months in hospital so kinda used to docs.
    Go see ya doc and bite the pellet (pun intended) .
    Diy will be very bad if you shaft your nail bed up you'll get really bad toes and thick distorted
    nail regrowth
     
  6. SteveO

    SteveO Top Poster

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    Get down the chiropodists, they'll give you a local anaesthetic into your toe then poke a long cotton bud coated with a chemical down into the root on the affected side (or both) and twist it around, the chemical kills the root, then they shove a pair of nail cutters deep into the root and cut it off, it wont grow back again where the root is killed, the nail looks ugly afterwards, grows back peculiar and always will but at least you can walk.

    Had mine done years ago!
     
  7. Trouserferret

    Trouserferret Donator

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    Jaysus, Steve!

    You really know how to get a fella champing at the bit to get into the doc's. :D

    I've had my nose cauterised probably seven or eight times, and I'd rather do it again than go show a professional my toe now. What I just read had goosebumps right up my arms. And my back. Bleugh!

    Good lord, it's gonna have to be done at some point. I'm just delaying it as long as I can. I'd rather be limping than in a Doctor's surgery.

    Edit:
    Need to get a line for those few days but, they're not sympathetic round my parts...

    Hearing folk have their toenails pulled out on a whim makes me kinda wanna harden up a bit.

    BUT THEY'RE STILL FEET.

    Gads.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2014
  8. SteveO

    SteveO Top Poster

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    I'm afraid unless you seek professional help you will always be suffering with puss filled infections in your toes! I tried everything to sort them out but it's the way the nail grows and curls around at the sides, There is also a knack to cutting your nails properly... straight across and never be tempted to round the corner off!

    My Mrs watched me have mine done and passed out right there and then, I just sat up curious and watched everything, funny how I'm not squeamish like that, I even saw the insides of my Mrs when she had our first child during an emergency caesarean! It was funny how his head popped up like a 'whack-a-mole through the muscle after they cut the sack open. Very interesting.
     
  9. neiled

    neiled Donator

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    :eek: :eek: Good luck trouserferret, you know it makes sense..........
     
  10. SteveO

    SteveO Top Poster

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    If I remember rightly I think they cut the nail out first so there is room to get the stick down with the chemical on, either way it's great fun! :D
     
  11. neiled

    neiled Donator

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    Nice twist :D
     
  12. Bigant

    Bigant Posting Addict

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    I like you wouldn't get mine sorted. started ingrowing after i ran it over with a pallet full of fruit juice. got to the point where it was quite bad and minging. finally went to the docs and was told gangrene was trying to set in and that another couple of days i would have lost my big toes and apparently trying to walk without them is difficult. the op to fix them took less than 30 mins just a local abit of poking and done. worth doing the fact you will be able to walk without feeling the pain every day is worth it alone. also the fun of having a nail grown through the end of your toe like a little horn that then catches upon you socks... isnt fun at all. go get it sorted!
     
  13. Jim of Cov

    Jim of Cov Donator

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    Had both mine done years ago by a GP who'd just set up a minor surgery unit in his practice. He mauled me, his hands were slipping in the blood and I got a nasty infection after. Now the 'nails' are an inch thick and curled like Eagle's talons. I hack them down every year or so but I still have to wear closed-toed sandals to avoid frightening the horses. I'll post pics later!
     
  14. Trampilot

    Trampilot Keyboard Hero

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    Reading this thread is making me wince... but like a scab I have to keep picking....
     
  15. Jackroadkill

    Jackroadkill Donator

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    I had a really bad one years ago. The only thing thing that sorted it in the end was a long-nosed pliers and a scalpel blade. I took the whole nail off and nearly passed out from the pain. It was worth it though; more than eighteen months of discomfort / pain / agony gone in ten minutes.
     
  16. Trouserferret

    Trouserferret Donator

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    Reading all these replies is really just about giving me the heave. I've quite a strong disposition really, not squeamish or anything.

    Jack's advice seem to be the most attractive so far. Steve's in depth report on the procedure coupled with Jim's experience tells me that I think I'd rather tear the thing out myself than have someone else root about inside my toe. I'm just glad no-one has posted pics yet, that might just push me over the edge...
     
  17. SteveO

    SteveO Top Poster

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    That's the mans way to do it! :D

    I had a tattoo that I didn't like some years ago and laser surgery was in it's infancy and very expensive so I removed it with a scalpel, I have a nice keloid scar now that resembles the map of the UK, I just need to add the outlying islands and a bit more of Cornwall and it's very convincing! lol
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2014
  18. Jackroadkill

    Jackroadkill Donator

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    [​IMG]

    This was a minor one that I also did myself.
     
  19. ovy4213

    ovy4213 Pro Poster

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    The mrs had ingrown toe nails on her big toes, went to doctors for surgery, they gave her a local anesthetic, cut back the nail where it was over growing, and used a strong acid to kill the nail cells so it never grows back again, hasn't had a problem since. :up:
     
  20. edtwozeronine

    edtwozeronine Donator

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    It does get mentally weird when it's your own body. I did however watch that whole series of autopsies on cadavers without flinching. I found it fascinating.
     

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