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The Elixier of Life

Discussion in 'General chit chat' started by Archamedes, May 11, 2012.

  1. Archamedes

    Archamedes Busy Member

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    Location:
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    I have discovered The Elixier of Life

    Do you want to know what prevents you ever getting ill, keeps you from catching infections or germs? I present to you, the cure of illness and assisting in long life... Tennents Super.

    097173.jpg

    What's that I hear you say? That's a tramps drink? How can a very strong beer be the answer to health and long life? Well let me explain some facts.

    1. Yes tramps do drink it, but have you ever stopped to wonder how they can reach the age of 90 while surviving against the elements and are exposed daily to germs, bacteria and infection that would kill off the average person?

    2. I started drinking it in 2002 and I have NEVER come down with any illnesses, colds or flu's, including swine flu even when my family went down with swine flu I stayed with them the whole time breathing in their contagious breath.

    3. I stopped drinking Tennents a year and a half ago due to high price rises, £8 for 4 cans now, and guess what? In the last year and a half I have been catching every illness, cold and flu nature has thrown at me.

    3. It defies science. If you put a half opened can of tennents in the fridge and return the following evening, the can is still fizzy as if you just opened it. Science says that by the loss of pressurization, the carbonated fizz should go flat between 3-5 hours... but Tennents doesn't after 24 hours.

    So there you go, the answer has been found, but because homeless people are the only ones drinking it, nobody else has stopped to notice its life preserving properties.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2012
  2. Egg

    Egg Major Poster

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    Maybe you're just a Jakie that's living in an alcohol induced coma and all this air rifle malarkey is but a dream brought about by Fountainbridge's finest?

    Carlsberg Special's probably the best Jakie Juice in the world.
     
  3. Archamedes

    Archamedes Busy Member

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    Well I used to drink that too so maybe they both share the magic
     
  4. Mad Marine

    Mad Marine Banned

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    So wen a nuclear reactor goes 'BOOM' with a can of tennant in my hand i'm perfectly safe??

    Kewl:D
     

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