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Depression

Discussion in 'Get it off your chest' started by Jack's Da, Feb 8, 2018.

  1. Jack's Da

    Jack's Da Donator

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    What a b*****d it is!
    I'm not what I personally would call someone who suffers from it but now and again I get what I call a downer. It's a bit wierd as I can feel it a couple of days before it kicks in. Anyway, I know what it's all about and I see it out over two or three days, pain in the arse but in the grand scheme of things not that big a deal really.
    What I'm getting at is the fact it must be, for want of a better word a right "b*****d" to deal with. I cant imagine how hard it is for someone who is inflicted with it.
    I've known a few people who have or still do live with depression and it's so easy to think to yourself that they should just "get on with it" or "pull their head out their arse" when the reality is none of those are a viable option. I realise I'm waffling, so anyone who suffers from it, feel free to pm me if you ever want to get it off your chest, as in the section title.

    Not wanting to drift off but has tablets ever been the answer for anyone? They never seen to of been anything other than a temporary fix for people I've known.
    Like I say if anyone does need a good whinge or a lughole you know where I am :up:;)
     
  2. Scott

    Scott Moderated user

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    After I lost my eye 21 years ago I was in a really bad place and my doc put me on Fluoxetine (Prozac)
    They worked, I improved came off the meds and was fine for a couple of weeks then it would kick in again and I would be back for another dose.
    This went on for maybe 4-5 years before I told the doctor I preferred to be the the person I am when I’m on the meds.

    I’m not monged out of my face, I’m perfectly normal in the way that I don’t have depressive episodes that last for days or weeks at at time and I don’t moan or fly off the handle at the stupidest things.
    I’m a calm and perfectly nice person, a loving husband and a good father.

    I was on 1 tablet a day for around 12 years,
    Then I had my first breakdown due to work and it went to 2 tabs and finally max dose of 3... I functioned (barely) until my 3rd breakdown.

    After that I was put on 1 Citalopram daily and I gave up my area managers job with the city and I redeployed into a non management office job.

    I’m now back to being the person both I and my family like, so I would say yes medication does work...
    but if you’re in a high stress environment then it might not work as well.

    I still feel my mood going low from time to time, but it’s just a light feeling of sadness
    (like you’ve just heard your aunties dog died)
    But I don’t worry about that, because it’s what I call normal peoples life and I know that I’m ok.

    Due to the accident and the breakdowns, I’ll probably be on meds the rest of my life,,,
    I’m good with that, because it stops me being an a******e :up:
     
    Bunyip, bobjen38, KenGlad and 33 others like this.
  3. MancTony

    MancTony Busy Member

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    Very brave of both of you to share something so personal yet all to common. Best of luck to you both.
     
    Phil G, Redcap 114, phil.m and 9 others like this.
  4. Scott

    Scott Moderated user

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    Thanks Tony,

    The thing about depression is that it really is nothing to be ashamed of!
    It’s basically a chemical imbalance in the brain that’s adjusted by medication in the same way that a diabetic has their chemical imbalance adjusted by meds.

    If more people spoke openly about it because in all reality it is something that they have absolutely no control over, then the perceived stigma that goes with depression would be removed.

    I’m not embarrassed to speak about my depression, can’t control it without medication.
    I am embarrassed about the a******e I was when I was in my bad place..
     
    AlistairS, lee71, thumbhole and 9 others like this.
  5. gargloit

    gargloit Posting Addict

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    Clinical depression is a real bitch, both from the sufferers point of view, and from the point of view of anyone who really cares for the sufferer. I must first point out that, having been married to someone cursed with this affliction for 15 years, many people who say they're depressed are in fact clinically fed up. Such people assume that this is what true depression sufferers are experiencing and justifies responses based upon such ignorance. Everyone has downers from time to time. True clinical depression is a monster in your head, quietly confirming every second of the day the utter certainty that nothing is good, nothing can make you happy, nothing will turn out well, nothing will ever get better. Ever! Why bother seek help when you have such certainty that all help will be useless??

    It can break the heart, living with someone you love which, by definition, means their happiness is more important to you than your own, to realise that it is quite simply impossible to 'make them happy'. You cannot. For 25 -30 years she suffered the 'help' of incompetent or indifferent GPs, psychiatrists, psychologists, and . knows how many specialists. In the end it was 'try these pills'. The trouble is, those pills had to be tried for 6 months, a year, before it was discovered they didn't work. On many occasions the side effects were so damaging they made things worse. Sometimes she could appear normal to the outside world, even happy sometimes, but to anyone that knew here it was a false front. Mostly, the drugs would rob her of any emotion or feelings completely. There is so much more, but you get the picture maybe. What can be worse is that depression is often rooted in deep anger. Prozac, one popular 'cure' is famous in the USA for resulting in murder. A person who's depression is rooted in anger is, while depressed, too lethargic to do anything about it. Remove the lethargy by 'curing' the depression and the anger can rise to the top with deadly consequences. It doesn't help the diagnosis and treatment of true clinical depression that it can have so many different causes.

    It's hardly surprising when such a marriage fails. The stress gave me, among other things, a heart attack, and many years of 'situational depression', which is a world away from the clinical version, but still no barrel of laughs. And it will inevitably affect the upbringing, and possibly the whole life, of children of any such marriage. I'm tempted to suggest that the proper response to anyone that tells a true depressive to 'pull themselves together' is to beat them to a pulp. At least it will shut them up, and maybe even help the sufferer to feel a little better. As an alternative, cognitive behavioural therapy can really help and will not get you talked about so much.
     
  6. Blackmax

    Blackmax Forum Rude Guy

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    You have my full respect Scott, for dealing with it and being so open about it as well. I just wish certain areas of society were more receptive to understanding the difficulties of suffering with mental health issues, they're a lot more common than we've been allowed to think.
     
  7. Jack's Da

    Jack's Da Donator

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    Excellent post @Scott . It takes a lot of bottle for people to talk about it when in reality it's an illness that's not of your own making. I've been close to what I would describe as being ill with it a couple of times (I'll tell you the stories when we next meet, I can laugh about it now) and it was scary.
    Apparently I have "built up my own coping strategies", not sure about that but I'm just glad I don't suffer the way I've seen some people who have to live with it.



    By the way. I don't know if I agree about this last bit :laff:

     
  8. Scott

    Scott Moderated user

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    gargloilt Im really sorry to read about your wife’s issues and the rough road you shared with her.
    Much respect to you for speaking up about it.

    Thanks Andy, I just take each day as it arrives
    I try not to worry about tomorrow or dwell on yesterday.....
    (I don’t always succeed, but hey ho I give it my best shot)

    Pete you cheeky b****r :laff::laff:
    But my wife would probably agree with you ;):D
     
  9. monsta41

    monsta41 Donator

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    I have suffered from depression since losing my hand back when i was a teenager, and on top of that a lot of Censored in my life has just added to that, i was diagnosed as bipolar a few years ago and was put on lithium, luckily the bipolar disorder has subsided and i no longer take the meds for it....i look and act perfectly fine when around others but it can be a different story when im alone. i have had thoughts of ending it all several times and nearly jumped in front of a train only to be stopped by a bystander, this was the last time, as i realised that some people do care about others.

    depression is something that shouldnt be hidden away, and its far from what some people call "feeling a bit down", and i hate being told "cheer up" as if it was so easy, and get over it or things could be worse, oh how little they know.

    This place helps me a lot as i have the chance to chat to people and stops the `alone` feeling being so bad. Thanks for that :) im sure some of you notice how im posting on certain days..if i seem to be replying with an attitude or being stroppy, then im having a bad day, just ignore it, i dont mean it to be personal to you.
     
    phil.m, AlistairS, thumbhole and 6 others like this.
  10. themadspread

    themadspread Donator

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    pete be very careful of prescription drugs they can become very addictive.when I was a kid my mother went on them and it turned her into the most evil cow ive ever seen.no social services in them days so no protection around and I had to suffer the downers she went on with severe beating and other abuse.the doc just upped the dosage on her all the time which just made it worse.get other help before you go down the drug route
     
    thumbhole, Blackmax and Scott like this.
  11. gargloit

    gargloit Posting Addict

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    Stress can be a big problem. I've never suffered from stress, but I have been diagnosed as a carrier.


    (Sorry. Just my favourite)
     
    chivy, audi swift and Scott like this.
  12. Scott

    Scott Moderated user

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    I’m nicking that :D :up:
     
    Blackmax likes this.
  13. audi swift

    audi swift Man up & pull the bloody trigger.... HFT 101.

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    My better half gets depression, she's on form of tablets & they help at times.
    It happened more after a simple back op went wrong after she walked in fine & came out partly paralyzed for over a couple of weeks but she's got a bit better, however she's needs to use walking crutches to get along, plus she uses a wheel chair when really needed after the OP was done some 5 plus years ago! :mad:
    She's also got a youngish son 14 years old with has got adhd, autism, sensory issues etc etc spectrum disorders he's got a bit of all the so called label's they say!! Hence he does not help the matter at times, & a sort of lazy 16 year old daughter.... plus me to cope with at times when I visit her \ them o_O.
     
    thumbhole, Blackmax and Scott like this.
  14. Rob-GB

    Rob-GB Posting Addict

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    I had the good fortune to work for a manic depressive guy many years ago.
    On good days he would do more work than most could achieve and on bad days he would sit in the van and leave me to do the work.
    The reason he got out of bed each day was his infant son so the days sat reading in the van were also a positive, it helped him out of the fog of depression.
    I learnt a lot from him, not just about my craft but about people who have struggles in life and how to just be there for them if needed.
    Depression affects not just the person but those around them too, some empathy and a receptive ear can make huge differences.
    Rob.
     
  15. chivy

    chivy Engaging Member

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    i also have depression, and as you all have said it goes bone deep. hours and weeks numb through to the core with it.
    haveing a dog is a help, but im not sure how, sometimes the things he gives, confuse me.
    hes no guard dog.
    i came down this morning to find a my house invaded. some sort of
    beast of immense anal capacity had taken a dump on the floor, a
    shovel full. and thinking he could do better, a second dump, even
    larger than the first. tho this one with less body and more fluidity.
    followed by a fart, with after spray.
    shovel, bucket, loo roll, bleach n mop to clean the place up, and the smell?
    it might have been MY dog?
    how the funk can that dog stand up? the shame should have killed him.
    and all i could do was laugh like a madman as i cleaned, tears in my eyes, a bubble of snot hanging from my nose.
    and im thinking this is as funny as today is going to get.
    the manic side is on the rise, how else can that be so funny?
     
    KenGlad, thumbhole, Blackmax and 2 others like this.
  16. mikeyhall1

    mikeyhall1 Amazing Poster

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    Each and everyone of you who has opened up in this thread receives my full admiration and respect.

    I have wobbled through life and thankfullybim ok, but I have been kicked and dragged through some of it, betrayed and a marriage shattered as she couldn’t keep her knickers on!

    Years ago in a previous profession I was assaulted by a number of drugged up hooligans which all these years later has left me claustrophobic somehow, and in “lesser” moments it provokes nightmares as I relive the assault in my sleep! Making it feel once again that it happened yesterday!!

    I have never seeked advice or help as I feel that I manage to keep a lid on it. Thankfully the worst of it, being claustrophobic isn’t all the being in the lift kind of stuff, but laying in bed at night and I’m convinced the ceiling is touching my nose, my current wife is too close or in the pub and there’s too much going on.

    Fast forwarding in life, married again and two lovely children. My wife now does not have it easy bless her. She suffers with the devils bursts of PMS every two weeks which I receive the full force of, along with her usual hormones being up the wall as in other times they are also inballanced for which she is receiving treatment for. She is currently on hormone therapy which is hard to get right and the poor woman’s brain is out of sync often, chemical wise. No matter what’s she’s calling me or accusing me of, it’s one hell of a job to stay calm yourself as it’s difficult not to take it personally.

    What has put things into prospective for me, and my wife when she is able to think straight is our son. It’s easy to say “someone else is worse off” and in this case we have our very own example. And my boy who was born with disabilities, learning difficulties and epilepsy, has managed a tight grasp on life and rarely doesn’t have a smile on that beautiful face of his. He will never know it but he pulls us through so much.

    What does sadly oppose this is that he will never live independently (on his own) which of course creates concerns for us as once we have completed our time on this earth he will be left to the perils of society and the appalling level of care we constantly hear about. This causes us great discomfort and upset.

    So I guess that’s a little bit about Mikey’s life.

    It’s not like loosing an eye, a hand or chronic depression for any reason and I wouldn’t dare compare them. I feel for all that have opened up and I sincerely wish you all my very best as you are all a wonderful bunch of people.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
    Bunyip, phil.m, BARNEY20 and 11 others like this.
  17. Scott

    Scott Moderated user

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    I believe one of our worst enemies is ourselves Mikey, because I was reading your post and thinking I don't know if would have the strength to go through everything he has...
    so to you it may not be the same as losing an eye or chronic depression,,,, but to me it is,,
    And I would rather go through losing my eye all over again than suffer as you have, because I know in my heart of hearts that I wouldn't have the strength to get through it.

    You're a good man Mikey, a good supportive & loving husband and a wonderful father PLEASE don't forget that!
     
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  18. Stevie Darling

    Stevie Darling Sexual tyrannosaurus

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    Anxiety has been the biggest fight of my life so far,

    What a horrible thing it is!
     
  19. mikeyhall1

    mikeyhall1 Amazing Poster

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    Awwww cheers Scott. And good words like those can only come from a good man such as yourself. Don’t forget that either!! We have days, weeks and now and then months where during which we give our boy the experiences life should offer and the thought doesn’t cross our mind, Then it will haunt us for days, weeks and months. So up and down but it’s important to give him the life and memories he deserves. He was 18 last July and he enjoyed his first pint with his dad. He gets looks as he can act less than half his age but f@ck the ignorant idiots. As long as he’s safe I will try to get him involved in all things an 18 year old would do.

    Most of it he’s better than me - and that couldn’t make me more delighted:)
     
    BARNEY20, thumbhole, Blackmax and 3 others like this.
  20. Spanielx2

    Spanielx2 Engaging Member

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    Sorry to bring an old thread up. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago. 55 year old now. Last week spoke with health in mind and they actually think I also have PTSD, not an ex veteran which most people associate PTSD with. Makes sense now though. This has always stopped me applying for any kind of licence for shooting and just stick with sub12. It can be so hard to talk about and admit to it. On and off meds for years, side affects are bloody horrible with some of the meds as well. All the best to anyone suffering with this or any other illness
     

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