Divorce wife

[newpete]

Got two kids, love them so much, the wife works as a manager in a clothes shop (walks about all day) I work 12 hour shifts, and work every overtime shift going. She thinks she is better than me and calls me lazy all the time as on my rest days I'm knackered. She calls me useless, repeatedly threatens to leave me and has started to turn violent. She won't admit she has a problem. I do everything I can to make our life happy, she just ruins it with her outbursts, she uses not seeing the Kids every day against me if she leaves me all the time as she knows it would kill me, it's getting to the point now where I'm ready to smack her one for the way she speaks and treats me . Bust lip I got tonight, she headbutted me 4 times as I was holding her arms from hitting me in the head.
Reason for this, I wanted to pick my mum up tomorrow, she wanted her to get the train.

[liam 86]

sounds to me you would be better of with out her to me mate . no way i could put up with that like . as for headbutting you . i know i could not of stoped my self from giving my wife a back hander if she head butted me . at the end of the day mate its self defence

[geodark]

You can't go on like that mate, it's not a life. My wife works 12 hour shifts, and I have seen how shattered she is on her days off. The way things are at the moment it isn't good for you and it must be hard on the kids - they pick up on things like this. If you don't mind me asking how old are the kids? Could it be post natal depression? It can go on for years after the kids are born. She needs help, but first she needs to admit she has a problem. How long can you go on like this. A friend of mine ended up being stabbed by his wife, he was fine but it could have been so much worse. There are places you can go for help, there are organisations out there. And believe me this is more common than you think.

Pete

[Macdoog]

Mate...I dont know if this is the best place to ask for help on here. It sounds as if you need to get out of there as soon as though. Your wife has some issues and it wont do you any good staying around waiting for her to work them out, especially as shes being violent.

No one deserves that sort of treatment. I wouldnt follow young Liams advice either. The courts and Police are heavily loaded in favour of women.

Sometimes it gets to the stage where a violent wife will get their partner arrested on assault charges...it kind of justifies their treatment of you.

No one can tell you what to do mate...but I think you already know dont you.

[Jackroadkill]

I think you already know dont you.

Says it all, fella.

[Marco]

I agree with Macdoog mate. It is no way to live your life. I assume that you have suggested relate guidance and all that stuff? Perhaps she might go in for some anger therapy as well if pushed hard enough.

If I were in your shoes (and I have been in a violent relationship in the past - just not quite as bad by the sound of it), I would tell her she needs to get some help, go to relate, or you will leave her. When I told my ex I was leaving, she broke down and appologised for everything. She begged me to stay, but I had reached a point where enough was enough. The number of times that I had to restrain her was rediculous. I got to the stage were I too wanted to smack her one. That was the point when I realised that she was no good for me. She wouldn't go to relate, but promised that she would change. I never believed a word of it and I left. I missed her like mad, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck. It is tough for both you and the kids at the moment and it shouldn't be. She has a problem and it needs addressing.

[Oilysean]

As above, are the kids old enough to know whats going on. It's no way to live being scared stiff every time you suggest something never knowing whats going to happen. Things can get very bad, a friend of mine is a paramedic, he got called out to a stabbing at a house, when they got there they found the man with stab wounds in his back and chest, as they started to work on him, his wife appeared behind them with knife still in hand.

Don't let it get to a stage like that, is there any place you can go and stay for a while. You need to get away and have a serious think.

Agreeed with macca, you know you can't take our advice but I suppose hearing a collective thought might take some of the strain off. This is why we have this section.

As marco said, I wish you luck with it all, just make sure the safety of the kids is not in danger in any way.
.

[RabbitControlSquad]

I think that you need to be careful and tell someone before she turns round and says that youve hit her or something. tell her side of the family that you want help for her

[stevelee24]

sounds abit like a more extreme version of my wife we dont have any kids though and only been married 3 years.
shes never been violent to me but the way she talks to me and my family is a disgrace at times.
cant do anything without her wanting to know every detail and then going on and on about it. she went mental the other week because i give my gran a lift to the shops. its insane

obviously my worry is she gets worse as gradually she seems to be and i cant be arsed with it any more im a very easy going person i dont need someone in my life that just stresses me out like that theres no need for it.

obviosly its harder for you mate as theres kids involved but im thinking of getting shot of mine. and its my house so she can sling her hook

[tankman]

seen all that. there is always two sides to the story.we only have one